Mumbai 🇮🇳 A Fort-Nightmare In India
Arrival in Mumbai feels less like a smooth landing and more like being thrown into a giant, high-speed tumble dryer filled with exhaust fumes & dreams of architectural glory. We arrived here from the relatively serene shores of Goa, expecting a genteel exploration of British-era history. Instead, the city greeted us with a thermal blast so intense it probably accounts for half the global warming statistics.
Mumbai (or Bombay, if you prefer the old-school vibe), is a fascinating study in extreme contrasts. It hosts more billionaires than you can shake a stick at, yet it possesses a street-level aesthetic that suggests municipal maintenance went out of fashion sometime in the 1950s.
The Landing Zone 🛬
Since I prefer not to engage in hand-to-hand combat with taxi drivers over the price of a twenty-minute ride, we booked a private transfer. For around €13 (roughly 1,450 INR), a driver met us at the terminal. He drove a minivan with air conditioning that fought a valiant, albeit losing, battle against the midday sun.
Our destination? The Fort area.
Sounds sturdy, doesn’t it? It implies a place where you might find solid walls and a sense of order. The reality is a dense labyrinth where history sits under layers of grime, and the ghosts of the East India Company seem to be desperately trying to find an exit.
Mumbai City – Urban Tenements
Mumbai City – First Impressions
Massive, dirty and congested were the first adjectives that came to mind. Added to the mix is the juxtaposition of the desperately poor living alongside the insanely rich (Mumbai is number 6 in the list of world cities to host the highest number of billionaires).
Clearly, very little is spent on maintaining the city’s buildings, or refurbishing the fabulous but faded remains of a Victorian heritage.
Unlike Delhi, we could see little sign of colourful, vibrant markets and appetizing streetfood vendors. By the time we reached our hotel, we were already quite depressed.
Staying In The Heart Of The Muddle 🏨
We’d put off visiting Mumbai City until the end of our trip to India. So now, arriving by plane from Goa, we planned to spend 2 nights.
We based ourselves at the Hotel Residency. At €60 to €70 per night (excluding breakfast), it sits comfortably in the ‘mid-range-but-trying-very-hard’ category, though it was considerably more expensive than anywhere else we stayed in India during this trip.
- The Room: Compact, and clean enough.
- The Window: Non-existent. A classic Mumbai touch.
- The Staff: Aggressively helpful. Every employee seemed to be standing in a permanent state of high-alert, ready to jump if you made eye contact.
Mumbai City Fort Area – Hotel Residency, Fort
Our room itself was hidden away in the annex, a short walk from the main entrance. We felt like we’d been relegated to the servant’s quarters, but honestly, it beats the alternative of paying triple for a view of a congested intersection and a pile of uncollected rubbish.
There was a restaurant attached to the hotel, but they never seemed to have any customers during our stay – likely due to the prices.
A Culinary Conundrum 🥘
Finding somewhere decent to eat in the Fort area was more difficult than we anticipated.
We wanted authentic, ideally cheap, street food. What we found instead were restaurants staffed by waiters who treat your presence as a personal inconvenience—and the menus carry prices that suggest the chef harvests the ingredients personally from the Himalayas.
These places also seemed to employ armies of flunkies who constantly hovered around us in an irritating manner.
In fact, we found no moderately priced restaurants, and ended up eating a joyless snack in a relatively clean Indian fast-food joint.
We were hungry but… not that hungry
In the evening, for want of better (or cheaper) options, we ate our first proper meal in the restaurant that was attached to our hotel.
We were the only guests.
This meal was expensive compared to our other experiences in India, but still a lot cheaper than eating in any of the restaurants nearby. The food was OK, but nowhere near the standards of the beach restaurants we’d enjoyed in Goa.
Mumbai – Plenty of junk-food options
Our solution to the frustrating lack of eating options was to buy food from a few shops that we could consume back in our hotel room.
We bought fruit from a street vendor, and samosas & nuts from a small shop. After much searching, we also found a dilapidated liquer store where we bought some wine and beer.
…You know it makes sense
Back in the (by now) sanctuary of our hotel, we stored our goods in the fridge.
Later that evening—after spending a day on foot sightseeing—we assembled our purchases into a passable meal while watching The Shankshaw Redemption on the box. This felt more comfortable than enduring the pretentious silence of a high-end dining room.
Bon Appetit! Residency Hotel Fort
Tips for getting through your stay:
- Source Local: Small shops sell samosas & nuts. They are your new best friends.
- Liquor Stores: Finding one requires a serious level of detective work. Once found, treat it like a secret bunker.
- The Room Service Pivot: When all else fails, buy provisions, retreat to your air-conditioned box, and stream something comforting on your laptop.
If you possess a high tolerance for overpriced, mediocre service, you will thrive in the Fort. If you prefer a meal that doesn’t come with a side of haughty stares, stick to the local snacks.
An Architectural Ghost Hunt 🏛️
The Fort area serves as an open-air museum of Victorian Gothic architecture, provided you can ignore the hanging electrical wires that look like they were installed by a caffeinated spider.
We tried to make the most of our short visit, including visits to Marine Drive, the Gateway of India, Victoria Terminus, Crawford Market and more (see Mumbai & The Thousand-Yard Stare).
- Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus (formerly Victoria Terminus): It stands as a testament to what happens when you give an architect an unlimited budget & a love for gargoyles. It’s genuinely impressive, even if you have to dodge six hundred commuters to take a photo.
- The Gateway of India: A massive stone arch that exists primarily so tourists can take selfies with pigeons. It’s iconic, it’s imposing, and it’s surrounded by a sea of people selling everything from balloons to sunglasses.
- Marine Drive: The local promenade. It offers the best chance to breathe air that doesn’t smell exclusively of diesel, though the humidity levels might just melt your glasses.
Final Reflections On The Metropolis 💭
Mumbai feels like an organism. It grows, it breathes, it smells, and it certainly doesn’t care if you are enjoying your stay. It’s not a city that asks for your approval. You either accept the chaotic nature of its existence, or you spend your entire trip complaining to the hotel manager.
We learned that two nights in the Fort area is plenty. It gives you just enough time to appreciate the fading majesty of the buildings and the intensity of the city’s pace, before you start longing for a place where you can find a packet of biscuits without embarking on a three-hour quest.
Is Mumbai a destination for everyone? Absolutely not. If you desire a relaxing break where things work according to a logical plan, go to the Swiss Alps. But if you want to understand the sheer, unadulterated energy of India, this urban jungle will leave an impression—usually a loud, sweaty one.
Would I return? Maybe. If I could only find a restaurant that doesn’t treat me like a minor annoyance and a shop that sells decent coffee.
Mumbai may be a must-visit destination for those interested in history, architecture, or culture. It may also be a perfect blend of old-world charm and modern-day excitement. It’s certainly a place that will leave a lasting impression on anyone who visits (see India – I’ll Never Do It Again).
The Mumbai Travel Toolkit 🧳
Elevate your next Indian excursion with essentials that actually do the job.
- Cable Organizer Case: Compact, durable, and keeps your sanity intact when you realize you have seven different charging cables for two devices.
- Insect Relief Pen: Because Mumbai mosquitoes treat your ankles like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
- Universal In-Flight Phone Holder: A lifesaver for long-haul flights or local train journeys (when you need your hands free for snacks).
Don’t let the travel logistics ruin your vibe; get equipped before you go!
If you enjoyed Mumbai City Fort Area, check out India West Coast – Kerala to Goa. You may also like:
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