The Final Frontier of Leisure Travel 🚀💫👽 Your Ultimate Guide to Galactic Getaways

The Final Frontier of Leisure Travel 🚀💫👽 Your Ultimate Guide to Galactic Getaways

Just for a change, we’re going to discuss the future of leisure travel, and for once, I’m not talking about whether a budget airline will lose your luggage or if you’ll end up with a seat next to a particularly loud hen party. No, we’re talking about a future that involves leaving the planet.

It’s a bit of a leap, isn’t it? One minute you’re fretting about whether the kettle is on the fritz, the next you’re floating about in zero gravity. We’ve been looking into this, and the optimistic expectations of some people would lead you to believe we’ll be holidaying on the Moon by 2075.

Still, we can dream, can’t we? So, We’ve done the legwork, sifting through the techno-babble and the overly enthusiastic pronouncements, to give you a semi-realistic, tongue-in-cheek, look at what our holidays might entail in the not-too-distant future.

Prepare yourselves. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Highlights

• Space Travel for the Masses?
• Itinerary 1 – Orbiting Earth
• Itinerary 2 – Lunar Lodgings
• Itinerary 3 – Mars Orbit
• The Final Frontier of Frivolity
• Major Tom to Ground Control
• The Things We Carry in Space
• “Game Over, Man! Game Over!”
• Experiences 🌟 Not Sightseeing

 

Space Travel for the Masses?

(spoiler: not quite yet)

Let’s manage expectations from the off.

When we talk about “space travel for the masses,” we’re referring to the masses who have a spare house or two they don’t mind selling. This isn’t going to be your two-week all-inclusive to Tenerife. We’re decades away from space tourism being genuinely affordable for your average Joe.

But for the discerning, well-heeled adventurer with an insatiable wanderlust (and a bank account to match), the possibilities are, shall we say, expanding.

So who exactly is eligible for these pioneering voyages?

• The Financially Fortunate: Obviously. We’re talking lottery winners, tech moguls, and those who inherited enough to fund a small nation.
• The Physically Robust: No dodgy knees or a weak stomach, thank you very much. We’ll need to pass rigorous health checks. Think astronaut-lite training, not just a brisk walk to Tesco’s.
• The Mentally Resilient: We’ll be in a tin can, millions of miles from home. A penchant for claustrophobia or a tendency to panic at heights is a definite no-no.

To the Moon… and Beyond

We’ve researched 3 travel itineraries and meal plans that will allow you to take one small step for man, one giant feast for mankind:

• Itinerary 1 🚀 Orbiting Earth: The ‘Near-Space’ Experience
• Itinerary 2 🚀 Lunar Lodgings: A Week on the Moon
• Itinerary 3 🚀 Mars Orbit: The Ultimate ‘See You Later’ Trip

Itinerary 1 🚀 Orbiting Earth: The ‘Near-Space’ Experience

First up on our celestial itinerary: a quick hop into Earth orbit.

Think of it as the starter pack for space travel. We won’t be reaching for the stars just yet, but we’ll be high enough to see some truly spectacular views. And possibly, if we’re lucky, spot Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster floating about as space junk.

The ‘Vista Voyager’ Orbital Getaway

• Duration: 3 days, 2 nights
• Vessel: A sleek, privately-operated orbital habitat, designed with panoramic windows that make even the most cynical among us gasp.
• Cost: A cool £5-7 million per person. Yes, we’re starting strong. Best get saving those pennies.

Itinerary & Activities

Day 1: Liftoff & Low-Earth Orbit

• Morning: We arrive at our discreet launch facility (somewhere remote, naturally, to avoid the paparazzi) and undergo final briefings. Expect a lot of earnest nods and forced smiles.
• Lunch: A surprisingly sophisticated, rehydrated meal. We try to convince ourselves it tastes gourmet.
• Afternoon: The big one. We strap in. The rumble, the roar, the sudden kick in the backside. We’re off!
• Evening: Post-insertion into orbit, we unbuckle and experience our first taste of weightlessness. We float. We flail. We accidentally head-butt a fellow passenger. Good times.
• Dinner: Gourmet space food – think carefully curated, vacuum-sealed delights. We’ll eat it with tiny, magnetic utensils.
• Night: Stargazing from the observation deck. The Earth, a swirling marble beneath us. We reflect on our life choices and wonder if we left the gas on.

Day 2: Orbital Antics & Earth Glimpses

• Morning: Wake up calls come from the onboard AI, gently reminding us that we are, in fact, in space. We perform some very ungraceful zero-G exercises.
• Breakfast: More rehydrated goodness. We’ll probably crave a fry-up but, in space, no one can hear you whinge.
• Mid-morning: Optional extra-vehicular activity (EVA) simulation in a bespoke module. This means we get to pretend we’re outside, in a controlled environment. We get some pretty convincing photos, though.
• Afternoon: Educational presentations on orbital mechanics and the future of space exploration. We try to look intelligent.
• Evening: A formal zero-G dinner, complete with surprisingly stable, self-heating plates. We attempt some zero-G ballroom dancing. It’s less Strictly Come Dancing and more Lost in Space.
• Night: More uninterrupted views of Earth. We might even spot our hometown, a tiny speck amongst the urban sprawl. We sigh dramatically.

Day 3: Re-entry & Reality Check

• Morning: A final, melancholic breakfast in orbit. We pack our souvenirs (freeze-dried ice cream and a new appreciation for gravity).
• Mid-morning: De-orbit burn. We feel the G-forces pressing us back into our seats. It’s like a very fast, very expensive roller coaster.
• Afternoon: Touchdown! We stumble out, trying to remember how to walk in normal gravity. We collect our commemorative certificates. We tell everyone we know.
• Departure: A comfortable transfer back to civilisation, where we can immediately bore everyone with tales of our cosmic escapades.

What’s on the Menu?

Forget your usual hotel buffet. Here, precision and nutrition are key.

• Breakfast: Fortified oatmeal, fruit compote (rehydrated, naturally), coffee (from a pouch).
• Lunch: Vegetable curry or beef stroganoff, served in squeezable packets.
• Dinner: Chicken supreme, salmon with quinoa, or a vegetarian equivalent, all prepared for optimum space consumption. Expect surprisingly decent flavours, considering the circumstances.
• Snacks: Granola bars, nuts, dried fruit – all sealed for freshness. And, of course, the aforementioned freeze-dried ice cream. It’s a cliché, but we have to try it, don’t we?
• Drinks: Water, juice, and a limited selection of sparkling beverages, all from sealed dispensers. No open bottles up here, thank you.

 

Itinerary 2 🚀 Lunar Lodgings: A Week on the Moon

Now, for the slightly more ambitious adventurer. Fancy a week on the Moon?

Yes, us too.

Imagine the bragging rights. “Oh, we just popped to the Moon for a bit, you know, needed a change of scenery.”

The ‘Selene Sanctuary’ Lunar Expedition

• Duration: 7 days, 6 nights
• Vessel: A next-generation lunar lander and a modular habitat on the Moon’s surface, likely near one of the poles for easy access to water ice.
• Cost: A cool £50-70 million per person. We told you to save those pennies! This is where the truly dedicated (and truly wealthy) come in.

Itinerary & Activities

Day 1-2: Trans-Lunar Transit & Arrival

• Day 1: The voyage begins. We launch on a much larger rocket than before, feeling the sustained G-forces as we escape Earth’s gravity. This isn’t just a hop; it’s a journey.
• Day 2: We spend our time monitoring Earth’s receding blue marble, playing zero-G card games, and consuming more vacuum-packed deliciousness. We might even get a virtual reality tour of the lunar base.
• Arrival: The lunar lander descends. We feel a slight thud. We’re on the Moon. Cue dramatic music.
• Transfer: We don custom-fitted space suits and transfer via pressurised rover to the habitat. It’s less Moonraker and more Top Gear in Space, but with significantly higher stakes.

Day 3-5: Lunar Living & Exploration

• Habitat Orientation: We get acquainted with our rather compact, but incredibly advanced, lunar living quarters. We learn how the air recycling works, where the emergency rations are, and how to operate the zero-G toilet without causing an international incident.
• Moonwalks: This is the real draw. Daily excursions outside the habitat in our bespoke space suits. We’ll bounce along the surface, collect lunar pebbles (don’t worry, they’re sterilised), and plant a tiny flag. Not our national flag, obviously, that’s no longer allowed.
• Lunar Rover Excursions: Guided tours in pressurised lunar rovers to nearby geological features, impact craters, and perhaps even a visit to the remnants of a past lunar mission. We become temporary archaeologists.
• Telescopic Stargazing: With no atmospheric distortion, the view of the stars from the Moon is utterly mind-boggling. We use powerful telescopes within the habitat to observe distant galaxies. It makes you feel very small, doesn’t it?
• Scientific Involvement: Optional participation in small scientific experiments, such as growing plants in lunar regolith or monitoring seismic activity. We can tell our grandchildren we contributed to science.
• Recreation: Virtual reality simulations, holographic chess, and plenty of reading material. We might even have a zero-G yoga session, if we’re feeling limber.

Day 6-7: Farewell to the Moon & Return Journey

• Day 6: One last moonwalk. We take a moment to soak it all in. We take far too many photos. We realise we haven’t checked our emails in days.
• Departure: We suit up, board the ascent module, and launch from the Moon. We look back at our temporary home, a small collection of domes on a desolate landscape.
• Trans-Earth Transit: The journey back to Earth. We might be a bit quieter now, perhaps a little pensive. We’ve seen things, man.
• Re-entry & Landing: The fiery re-entry, the parachute deployment, the splashdown. Or a runway landing, depending on the vessel. We’re back. With tales to tell.

Lunar Culinary Delights

The food on the Moon will be a step up from orbital offerings, thanks to more sophisticated storage and preparation facilities.

• Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (rehydrated, but almost indistinguishable from fresh), bacon-flavoured strips, fruit juice.
• Lunch: Hearty stews, pasta dishes, or a gourmet wrap, often featuring hydroponically grown greens from the lunar habitat’s own ‘space farm’. We can say we ate local.
• Dinner: Roast chicken with vegetables, simulated steak, or a rich mushroom risotto. Desserts might include chocolate mousse or fruit tarts, all designed to hold up in a low-gravity environment.
• Snacks: A wider variety of energy bars, nutrient gels, and even some ‘comfort foods’ from Earth, carefully portioned.
• Drinks: Still water, sparkling water, fruit juices, and perhaps a specially formulated, low-alcohol space wine for celebratory toasts.

 

Itinerary 3 🚀 Mars Orbit: The Ultimate ‘See You Later’ Trip

For the truly adventurous, those who scoff at mere lunar excursions, we have the Mars orbital tour. This isn’t landing on Mars; that’s a whole other can of worms for another century. This is a fly-by. A close encounter. A “we went there and you didn’t” sort of trip.

The ‘Crimson Comet’ Mars Fly-by

• Duration: Approximately 6-8 months (depending on orbital mechanics and how long we want to stare at Mars). This is a serious commitment.
• Vessel: A deep-space exploration vessel, complete with radiation shielding, advanced life support, and enough entertainment to prevent us from going stir-crazy.
• Cost: We’re talking £100-200 million per person. Possibly more. We’ll need to sell all the houses and rob Fort Knox for this one.

Itinerary & Activities

Months 1-3: “Get your ass to Mars!” – The Outward Bound Journey

• Launch: A truly monumental event. We say goodbye to Earth for a very long time. We probably feel a mix of elation and existential dread.
• Deep Space Living: We adapt to life aboard a deep-space vessel. Think of it as a very long, very exclusive cruise, but with more science and fewer all-you-can-eat buffets.
• Training & Science: We participate in scientific research, monitor our health, and train for potential emergencies. We learn to become pseudo-astronauts.
• Recreation: A rotating schedule of movies, virtual reality experiences, exercise regimes (crucial for maintaining bone density), and team-building activities. We might even have a weekly quiz night.

Month 4: Mars Fly-by!

• The Approach: Days before closest approach, Mars grows larger in the viewports. Its crimson hues, polar ice caps, and ancient riverbeds become visible. We are genuinely awestruck.
• Observation: We spend hours glued to the observation decks and sophisticated telescopic equipment, taking countless images and videos. We look for signs of previous missions, and perhaps, just perhaps, something else.
• Data Collection: We assist the onboard scientists in collecting data on Mars’ atmosphere, geology, and potential for future colonisation. We’re contributing to humanity’s future!
• Emotional Impact: We process the sheer scale of the universe and our tiny place within it. We probably shed a tear or two.

Months 5-8: The Long Road Home

• Post-Mars Reflection: We process the experience, share our observations, and compare notes. We probably have a new perspective on traffic jams.
• Maintenance & Wellbeing: Continued exercises, psychological support sessions, and perhaps some onboard hobbies like hydroponic gardening or creative writing.
• Earth Approach: As Earth slowly grows in the viewport, we feel a strange mix of longing and apprehension. We’ve changed, haven’t we?
• Re-entry & Landing: A triumphant return. We are no longer just tourists; we are deep-space voyagers. We have stories that will make others green with envy.

Sustenance for the Long Haul

On a Mars orbital mission, variety and psychological well-being become paramount.

• Advanced Nutritional Systems: Expect a diet tailored by AI, ensuring every nutrient is accounted for. The food is still packaged, but the technology ensures better texture and flavour retention.
• Hydroponic Gardens: A small portion of our fresh produce (lettuce, herbs, some berries) might be grown onboard, providing a much-needed psychological boost and some actual fresh greens.
• Customisable Meal Options: We can often select from a wider menu of rehydrated and thermostabilised meals, including international cuisine. We can even “design” our own meals to some extent.
• Snacks: An extensive array of energy bars, dried meats, nuts, and perhaps even some specially developed space confectionery.
• Beverages: Water (recycled, naturally), a variety of powdered juices, coffee, tea, and even a limited supply of soft drinks from onboard dispensers.

The Final Frontier of Frivolity

So there we have it. A glimpse into the future of leisure travel, where “getting away from it all” takes on an entirely new meaning.

We might not be packing our sandals and sun cream for these trips, but the views? Unbeatable. The experience? Unforgettable. The cost? Let’s just say we’ll need to win a rather large lottery, or receive a truly colossal inheritance.

Will we see these holidays in our lifetime? Perhaps the orbital jaunts, if we play our cards right and have some exceedingly generous benefactors. The Moon? Possibly, for the very, very fortunate. Mars? Well, we can always dream. And really, isn’t that what travel is all about? The dreaming, the planning, the sheer, unadulterated escapism?

Even if, for now, our furthest excursions are still confined to terra firma, we can still imagine ourselves floating above Earth, a tiny, insignificant speck, with a strong cuppa and a knowing smirk.

Because even in space, we’ll probably still complain about the heating. It’s just who we are, isn’t it?

‘The Final Frontier 🚀 Traveller’s Companion’ …coming next!

---

If you can’t afford The Final Frontier of Leisure Travel, take a look at our Tropical Travel Plans. You may also like: