7️⃣0️⃣ Seven Decades, Five Vertical Kilometres, & One Optimistic Knee Surgeon
I’ve reached that distinguished age where most people consider a “trek” to be the distance between the cruise ship buffet and the nearest sun lounger.
Yet, here we are, staring at a topographical map of the Langtang Valley that looks suspiciously like a heart rate monitor during a panic attack.
In May, we are heading to Nepal.
Specifically, we’re heading to the Langtang Valley to celebrate a milestone that involves the number 70, a great deal of vertical gain, and a level of physical exertion that would make a mountain goat wince.
Highlights
- Kathmandu Chaos 🏍️💨
- Itinerary 🐌 A Slo-mo Ascent
- Logistics of 70-Year-Old Ambition
- The “SandSpice” Survival Strategy
- Victory Lap 🥂 3 Nights of Luxury
- (🇲🇾 ⛰️ 🇳🇵) Why Langtang?
- Tactics (for tech-savvy trekkers)
- All Hotel Options in Kathmandu
- Airport to Kathmandu City Centre
- Book the Kailash Boutique Hotel
- Things We Carry in the Mountains
The Pre-Game Ritual 🏍️💨 Kathmandu Chaos
We aren’t just going for a stroll in the woods. We’ve booked a 10-day private odyssey with Nepal Eco Adventure. We’re aiming for Tserko Ri, a peak that sits at a jaunty 4,985 metres. At that height, the air is about as thick as the plot of a low-budget soap opera, and the view is purportedly life-changing…
…assuming we still have enough functioning brain cells to process visual stimuli.
We start our journey by dropping ourselves into the sensory blender that is Kathmandu. We’ve booked the Kailash Boutique Hotel for our initial night of “acclimatization.”
In Kathmandu terms, “acclimatization” usually involves dodging mopeds, inhaling a year’s worth of incense in twenty minutes, and wondering if we actually need that three-foot-tall bronze Buddha statue for the living room.
Kathmandu Chaos
We expect the Kailash to be our last bastion of civilization before we swap internal plumbing for a hole in the ground and a cold bucket of water. We’ll spend our first evening drinking Everest beer and pretending we aren’t terrified of the 7-hour Jeep ride to Syabrubensi that awaits us early the next morning.
We’ve heard the Trishuli highway is less of a road and more of a suggestion made by a person who enjoys extreme vibration. We anticipate arriving at the trailhead feeling like we’ve been put through a professional cocktail shaker.
The Itinerary 🐌 A Slow-Motion Ascent
We intentionally negotiated a 10-day pace. Why? Because we have knees that have seen better decades, and we’d like to actually see the scenery rather than just the backs of our trekking boots.
We want a “vintage-friendly” ascent:
- Days 1-3: We transition from the humid, monkey-infested forests of the lower valley up to Ghore Tabala. We expect the humidity to do interesting things to our hair and the steep ascent to do even more interesting things to our quads. We will be looking for Red Pandas, though we suspect we are more likely to find a very tired cow.
- Days 4-5: The valley opens up. We enter the alpine zone. We pass the rebuilt village of Langtang, a sobering reminder of the 2015 earthquake, and push on to Kyanjin Gompa. At 3,900 metres, we expect to start feeling the altitude. We’ll be moving at the speed of a tectonic plate, which is exactly how we like it.
- Day 6: The Big Seven-Zero. This is the climax. On May 10th, we intend to stand on top of Tserko Ri. At 5,033 metres, we will officially be higher than any point in the Alps or the Rockies, and higher than we’ve ever ascended.
We want that 360-degree view of the Tibetan peaks. We want the photo. We want the bragging rights. And at a reduced oxygen level of 50%, we’ll also probably want a nap.
Tserko Ri, Nepal – 4,985 metres
The Logistics of 70-Year-Old Ambition
We’ve spent weeks haggling over gear lists and insurance policies. We have finally agreed to pay Nepal Eco Adventure a total of $2,500 for the two of us. This includes a private guide, a porter who will undoubtedly carry our heavy bags with more grace than we carry our daypacks, and the luxury of private Jeep transfers.
We even negotiated the gear rental. For an extra $60, we are getting down jackets and sleeping bags rated for temperatures that would freeze a brass monkey’s tackle. We figured it was a better investment than trying to pack our entire winter wardrobe into a suitcase in Langkawi.
We also had to navigate the murky waters of high-altitude insurance. When you tell an insurance company you are turning 70 and want to walk to 5,000 metres, they look at you as if you’re planning a unicycle trip across the Arctic. We eventually settled on ASC360. We hope we never see their rescue helicopter, but we like knowing it exists.
The “SandSpice” Survival Strategy
How do we plan to survive this without a total physiological meltdown? We have a few key strategies:
- The “Slow and Steady” Pace: We’ll not be racing the 20-something backpackers. We will be the ones stopping to “photograph a flower” every ten minutes while trying to prevent our hearts from exiting through our ribcages.
- Yak Cheese Intervention: We understand there is a cheese factory in Kyanjin Gompa. We intend to use protein-loading as an excuse for gluttony.
- The Pole Protocol: We will be using trekking poles. We don’t care if we look like we’re out for a power-walk in a retirement village; those poles are the only thing standing between our kneecaps and total structural failure.
- Hydration (and its consequences): We plan to drink four litres of water a day. This means we’ll no doubt spend 40% of our trek looking for a discreet rock to hide behind. It’s all part of the Himalayan glamour.
Yak cheese factory in Kyanjin Gompa
The Victory Lap 🥂 Three Nights of Luxury
We’ve learned from past mistakes. We are not finishing the trek and hopping straight onto a plane. We’d likely be arrested for biological warfare if we stepped into an aircraft cabin in our post-trek state.
Instead, we are returning to Kathmandu for three glorious nights at the Kailash Boutique Hotel .
We want the extra time to transition back into being functioning members of society. We want to spend 48 hours in a state of semi-permanent reclining. We have visions of hot showers that last long enough to change the local water table. We want to eat food that hasn’t been cooked on a kerosene stove.
We plan to spend our extra days in Patan and Boudhanath. To sit on a rooftop overlooking the great Stupa, watching the butter lamps flicker, and feeling relieved about having actually done it. We want to buy pashminas that we don’t need and tea that we will forget to drink, all while basking in the glow of surviving our own ambition.
Great Stupa, Kathmandu
Langkawi to Langtang (🇲🇾 ⛰️ 🇳🇵) Why Langtang?
We chose Langtang because it’s the “Valley of Glaciers.” It’s less crowded than Everest and more intimate than the Annapurna Circuit. It’s a place where the mountains don’t just loom; they lean in and have a conversation with you. We want to see the peaks of Langtang Lirung and Yala while we still have the breath to gasp at them.
Is it a bit mad? Yes. Is it expensive? Moderately. Is it going to be uncomfortable? Almost certainly.
We expect to complain about the cold, the dust, the lack of WiFi, and the steepness of the terrain. We expect to wonder, at least once an hour, why we didn’t just go to a nice spa in Penang.
But that’s the whole point of SandSpice. We don’t do easy. We do interesting. We do the stories that involve mishaps, irony, and the occasional realization that we are significantly older than we feel—usually when we hit the first set of stairs.
Tactical Data (for the tech-savvy trekker)
For those of you googling “Trekking Langtang at 70” or “Nepal Eco Adventure Reviews” we are your primary case study.
We are proof that you don’t need to be a marathon runner to experience the Himalayas; you just need a bit of stubbornness, a good guide, and a very sturdy pair of boots. We will be documenting the entire ordeal—the highs, the lows, and the inevitable “why did we do this?” moments—right here on the blog.
We are packing the ibuprofen. We are charging the camera batteries. We are mentally preparing for the lack of espresso. May 10th is the date. We will either be standing on top of Tserko Ri or we will be in the Kyanjin Gompa bakery eating our weight in apple pie.
Either way, it’s going to be a birthday to remember.
Stubbornness, Guide & Sturdy pair of boots
Stay tuned. We will be posting the full “survival” gallery and the brutal truth about the Syabrubensi Jeep ride as soon as we have enough signal to send a digital SOS.
All Hotel Options in Kathmandu
If you enjoyed Seven Decades, Five Vertical Kilometres, & One Optimistic Knee Surgeon, take a look at our other Tropical Travel Plans. You may also like:
Spice up your inbox…
… with discounted hotel deals, cost-saving travel itineraries and SandSpice escapades! 😉
